I love orientals and vanilla too, but don't like very strong scents either and find many of the real vanilla fragrances far too sweet. These are my favourites for a more subtle fragrance that fits the bill
Jo Malone Vanilla & Anise It's listed as floral fruity gourmand but I have no idea why! This is spicy, with tuberose and a hint of vetiver and a classy vanilla, that doesn't punch you in the face.
The Body Shop Neroli Jasmin Great oriental floral with gorgeous sandalwood and vanilla base.
Chanel Allure Very pretty and feminine, not too strong, lots of vanilla and water lily.
L`Occitane en Provence Voyage en Mediterranee Labdanum de Seville
Great oriental, lots of labdanum with beautiful vanilla.
Hope that helps!
Split for Ormonde Jayne Tolu! http://www.fragrantica.com/board/viewtopic.php?id=73503&p=4