Topic: Selfish!!!

Have you been in a situation when you love a perfume so much that when your friends or relatives complimented you, saw your bottle, maybe test on their own skin, adored it more, then they want to take it from you, pleadingly or not, right on the spot but you're just so selfish not to let go because aside from loving the scent very much, other reasons may be that it is hard to find or it's value by price is high in the market or whatever?

Did you lead them to where you bought it or lead them to "change topic" or or did you give them a decant or sample later on, maybe gift them a full bottle too?

Please share your experiences and name those perfumes?

A for Adorable, B your so Beautiful, C is Cologne for you to spray...
S is for Sniffing, T is for Testing, Z is the Zealousness to pay...

Re: Selfish!!!

Oh, I've been guilty of this. When there is a perfume I love and my friends want to borrow it I kind of stare at them like this

O____O when they are using it haha.

It's just cause of my bestie. Love her, but she "smells" my perfumes by spraying them in the air and wafting them towards her nose. It makes me die inside. One spray of tom ford black orchid practically costs $1. UGGGHHHH and it's going into the aiiirrr!!! If you want to spray your arm, even your arm and your neck cool. But not the airrrr *shrivels up and dies*

Gourmie, Smell Enthusiast, Leo (if you're into that), INTJ

Re: Selfish!!!

cake n' cuddles wrote:

Oh, I've been guilty of this. When there is a perfume I love and my friends want to borrow it I kind of stare at them like this

O____O when they are using it haha.

It's just cause of my bestie. Love her, but she "smells" my perfumes by spraying them in the air and wafting them towards her nose. It makes me die inside. One spray of tom ford black orchid practically costs $1. UGGGHHHH and it's going into the aiiirrr!!! If you want to spray your arm, even your arm and your neck cool. But not the airrrr *shrivels up and dies*

Hahaha, as our palm is like an airport and the money were the airplanes landing on it then leaving, our perfumes once being sprayed by others, 1 to many, to skin or at air, makes us become selfish accountants lol

A for Adorable, B your so Beautiful, C is Cologne for you to spray...
S is for Sniffing, T is for Testing, Z is the Zealousness to pay...

Re: Selfish!!!

Yes it's happened many times before! In actual fact, it's happening now... A few weeks ago, my mother in law was having a look at my perfumes and her eyes were fixed on my vintage YSL Paris and she was explaining how much she loved it and she desperately wanted that same vintage version.. and that they dont make them how they used to...and that it was her favourite scent of all time.... I was cringing because I had just bought that particular bottle for a steal and was so happy that it was vintage! Although I love my mother in law dearly, I was not going to give up my vintage Paris!  23

I tried changing the subject, walked out of the room so she would follow, I even sprayed her with one spritz hoping she'd get over it.. but no, instead she wanted it even more!!!

Somehow my husband came in and told her to come to the garden and she was finally distracted!

I felt so bad when she went home and decided that I was going to surprise her with a brand new vintage one, and ever since I have been desperately looking but the prices are unbelievable  17

Everytime I talk to her she mentions the perfume and I will not part with it lol I am willing to pay so much more than what I bought mine for and give it to her but I just won't give her my one!

Last edited by Ayana (2012-12-28 17:05:13)

Nothing beats the scent of Paradise.

Re: Selfish!!!

I don't know if this story qualifies, but I am going to share it anyway.

When I was a little girl, my best friend Lori, had a baby doll that gave scented "kisses" when you squeezed her belly.

It smelled like lemon pie. I thought it was great. Lori said don't squeeze it too much because you will use up all the scent. So, I put the doll down.

Every time she left her room to use the bathroom or talk to her parents, I would squeeze that doll as many times as I could get away with.

We were friends through grammar and high school. And that doll still had kisses when we were seniors.

Ha! I showed her!

"To find yourself, think for yourself." - fortune cookie

Re: Selfish!!!

missg wrote:

I don't know if this story qualifies, but I am going to share it anyway.

When I was a little girl, my best friend Lori, had a baby doll that gave scented "kisses" when you squeezed her belly.

It smelled like lemon pie. I thought it was great. Lori said don't squeeze it too much because you will use up all the scent. So, I put the doll down.

Every time she left her room to use the bathroom or talk to her parents, I would squeeze that doll as many times as I could get away with.

Love your story...still go through bathroom cabinets for scents ? Lol
We were friends through grammar and high school. And that doll still had kisses when we were seniors.

Ha! I showed her!

Ha ha love your story...still go through other bathroom cabinets for scents ? Lol soo funny

Last edited by smellME (2012-12-28 17:27:41)

Be true to yourself !

Re: Selfish!!!

I wouldn't feel selfish personally for something like that. It's yours and you paid for it. I would find it very rude if someone asked me to have or keep a bottle of my perfume (unless I had said I didn't like/want it and they did) and even more so if they were using it without asking.

As for me, my boyfriend's mother tends to like the same fragrances as me and as I tell her what I'm wearing when she asks but don't want her to wear the exact same scent as me I find something else similar for her. For instance this Christmas I bought her E. Coudray Iris Rose, which she thankfully loved, as a replacement for my Guerlain L'Instant which she always complimented. I think giving maybe a sample or finding them another bottle is a nice gift but I personally wouldn't part with more than a vial of something I owned and loved...

See Profile for UK swaps.

Re: Selfish!!!

Back in middle and high school, sometimes a friend or classmate would take a couple sprays of my body splashes. I usually didn't care. Nowadays, I don't have visitors, so no one comes up to my perfumes and tries them. I would actually be very happy if someone did though! It would almost be like wine tasting, lol.

If someone asks about what I am wearing (rarely asked though), I tell them. Unless it's a known designer like Dior or D&G, people usually don't seek out the perfume to buy for themselves.

Our love is madness.
http://youtu.be/Ek0SgwWmF9w?list=PLjTH93ybIbR1G3uAJ6XTNv_YDM_JGeOlX

Re: Selfish!!!

cake n' cuddles wrote:

Oh, I've been guilty of this. When there is a perfume I love and my friends want to borrow it I kind of stare at them like this

O____O when they are using it haha.

It's just cause of my bestie. Love her, but she "smells" my perfumes by spraying them in the air and wafting them towards her nose. It makes me die inside. One spray of tom ford black orchid practically costs $1. UGGGHHHH and it's going into the aiiirrr!!! If you want to spray your arm, even your arm and your neck cool. But not the airrrr *shrivels up and dies*

I had to laugh at this!!! lol I would have felt the same way.

Re: Selfish!!!

Beach Girl wrote:
cake n' cuddles wrote:

Oh, I've been guilty of this. When there is a perfume I love and my friends want to borrow it I kind of stare at them like this

O____O when they are using it haha.

It's just cause of my bestie. Love her, but she "smells" my perfumes by spraying them in the air and wafting them towards her nose. It makes me die inside. One spray of tom ford black orchid practically costs $1. UGGGHHHH and it's going into the aiiirrr!!! If you want to spray your arm, even your arm and your neck cool. But not the airrrr *shrivels up and dies*

I had to laugh at this!!!  lol I would have felt the same way.

LOL! You guys should have seen my face, I think she did it to four or five of my higher end perfumes until I begged her to stop lol

Gourmie, Smell Enthusiast, Leo (if you're into that), INTJ

Re: Selfish!!!

Personally, I think someone haggling you to give up your bottle is extremely rude. It is not that you are 'selfish', it is that the other person lacks the notion of personal boundaries. Most people learn these kinds of things at a young age ("Don't play with so-and-so's toys!") but some people may have never learned or appreciated these things in childhood, leading to this kind of socially unacceptable behavior as an adult. It's not ok to touch, take, or use other people's things without their permission!

A tactful way you can deal with this situation is to send the person links or information about where they can purchase their own bottle. I would suggest that perhaps you could decant a little of your perfume for the offending person, but, that might encourage their bad behavior even more - when it runs out, they'll be back for more!  23

Last edited by blondeambitioned (2012-12-28 18:09:58)

Dance while you can, dance 'cause you must, love out of lust.

Re: Selfish!!!

Well said, blondeambitioned!  Totally agree!   94

Admiring someone's perfumes is one thing, poaching them is another.  It's not selfish to want to hold onto something you love and may have spent a lot of money on!  But I'm happy to help people locate their own bottle if they really love something.....

Re: Selfish!!!

DresdenDoll wrote:

I wouldn't feel selfish personally for something like that. It's yours and you paid for it. I would find it very rude if someone asked me to have or keep a bottle of my perfume (unless I had said I didn't like/want it and they did) and even more so if they were using it without asking.

Agreed!  storstark

"I want to be magic.” ~ Charles de Lint

Re: Selfish!!!

If that is selfish sign me up. I have two dear friends who "get it" and I would trust them with my collection. And my sisters, without question. Everyone else...have fun at Bath and Body Works.

Re: Selfish!!!

I had my Desperate Housewives Forbidden Fruit up for swap, and my grandma asked to try it. She wanted to keep it, but I had already found a new home it for it. I swapped my bottle and ended up buying her a brand Forbidden Fruit for Christmas.

Last edited by mew.kitty (2012-12-28 19:23:52)

Re: Selfish!!!

Well, when my mom or sis do visit, they often say it's like "shopping" in a department store. LOL They don't have to ask for permission; they're my family and what better way to find out what they like than to let them spray themselves; it makes shopping for them so much easier if I know they like it beforehand. I do give away quite a bit of stuff to them or extended family, and if I have samples, they are welcome to those as well. So no, I'm not selfish with family. If I had friends that visited, I would expect them to ask for permission first, which would be happily granted. However, most of my friends don't live close by, and not many of them are perfume-aholics.

Hey, I just met you and this crazy...I love perfume, so call me cuckoo!

Re: Selfish!!!

blondeambitioned wrote:

Personally, I think someone haggling you to give up your bottle is extremely rude. It is not that you are 'selfish', it is that the other person lacks the notion of personal boundaries. Most people learn these kinds of things at a young age ("Don't play with so-and-so's toys!") but some people may have never learned or appreciated these things in childhood, leading to this kind of socially unacceptable behavior as an adult. It's not ok to touch, take, or use other people's things without their permission!

A tactful way you can deal with this situation is to send the person links or information about where they can purchase their own bottle. I would suggest that perhaps you could decant a little of your perfume for the offending person, but, that might encourage their bad behavior even more - when it runs out, they'll be back for more!  23



A very excellent suggestion, really. I'm sorry, Amarah, that you've had to deal with the persistent selfishness of someone else making you feel like the selfish one. It's easy to do, especially if you've been raised as the responsible older sister or the peacekeeping middle child.

Your manners are not at fault, and please tell yourself not to feel guilty. This kind of eager, well meaning ( ? ) behavior from friends and family is the stuff of nightmares, as they never fully comprehend how unfair or miserable their behavior makes others. Something left out in their upbringing?!

Give yourself a hug, consider sending her a link to finding her OWN bottle as suggested above, and PUT YOUR COLLECTION OUT OF SIGHT the next time she comes for a visit. Better yet, go to her house......... Some people never learn how not to be invasive, so you will have to "help" her.  51

Last edited by drugstore classics (2012-12-28 21:19:37)

I break open the shell
Of the egg of Time, and I hop out as it's fledgling.  Sirpi

Re: Selfish!!!

My best friends have a nice collection themselves. They have never begged me for a fragrance, but they sometimes ask to try a few that they plan on purchasing. My 2 sisters always beg to have my perfumes & they always say "you already have a lot" (they each have quite a collection themselves & most of theirs are high end designers, expensive bottles!) Most of the time, I feel under pressure & say yes, but not to the ones I absolutely love. My younger sister, 14, so sweet, she always gifts me perfumes, whenever she goes shopping, she surprises me with a perfume or body spray or anything nicely scented. She goes to Bath & Body Works or Victoria's Secret, buys something for me, writes me a sweet letter & when I'm not in my room, she leaves it on my vanity with a sweet letter hjarta I do as well to her, she loves anything from Victoria's Secret. My mom goes through my perfumes & uses or takes whatever she wants, I can't say no to her  wink

Last edited by ilovesmells (2012-12-28 22:23:19)

"Good looks fade. But a good heart keeps you beautiful forever." :)

Re: Selfish!!!

SeeMeBeauty wrote:

If that is selfish sign me up. I have two dear friends who "get it" and I would trust them with my collection. And my sisters, without question. Everyone else...have fun at Bath and Body Works.



giggles

20

Re: Selfish!!!

When my friends ask to sample some of my perfumes it's fine. Even I suggest them to do so sometimes just for fun. But once a girl tried something without asking first and I thought it was rude even though I didn't care for that perfume...

Last edited by po (2012-12-28 22:23:40)

''Common sense is not so common''

Re: Selfish!!!

cake n' cuddles wrote:

Oh, I've been guilty of this. When there is a perfume I love and my friends want to borrow it I kind of stare at them like this

O____O when they are using it haha.

It's just cause of my bestie. Love her, but she "smells" my perfumes by spraying them in the air and wafting them towards her nose. It makes me die inside. One spray of tom ford black orchid practically costs $1. UGGGHHHH and it's going into the aiiirrr!!! If you want to spray your arm, even your arm and your neck cool. But not the airrrr *shrivels up and dies*

+1 LOL! I so understand where you're coming from, cake n' cuddlesl. This has happened to me with Tom Ford's Black Orchid as well... Poof!!! Into the air she goes!  17 Doesn't even land on the person's clothes let alone skin!  54 It all of a sudden becomes one of my most expensive airfreshers!!!  43 I feel the same way you do about it... couldn't have said it better myself.  glad

"Music is my religion."  ~ Jimi Hendrix

Re: Selfish!!!

oh i have lost so many of my favourite perfumes and ones that i will never be able to get again this way...its crzy how i used to just open my purse and give all the bottle sometimes they were new bottles i have just opened..sometimes they were mixes that i made and i can never remake again!maybe more than 50 bottles were gone this way...lately the past 2 to 3 years i have stoped even opening my purse or putting full botles when i go somewhere i know i will meet those types of people i carry decants so if i give them away it doesnt hurt as much !

I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.
Isaac Newton

Re: Selfish!!!

Oh God  hmm My Brother is OBSESSED with my Noir de Noir! NOT GOOD. That is not cheap. I let him borrow it thinking he'd move on quickly since my wardrobe is so huge...but he has declared it his "all-time favorite" and so I feel guilty/awkward for asking him to return it to me. And I want it back!

http://fimgs.net/images/perfume/m.1822.jpg Tom Ford Private Blend: Noir de Noir

Last edited by sweetnspicey (2012-12-29 03:35:39)

Re: Selfish!!!

Gosh, my story is the other way around.  I really don't mind when my niece visits and she likes to check out my fragrances and I tell her to go ahead and spray on her what she wants to try. She's usually shy at first but she goes for the celebrity frags most of the time. My 4 daughters are allowed to use any of my fragrances anytime, too.  I let them know which are the expensive ones which they should use sparingly.

Last month when my sister-in-law from Vegas visited for a couple of days, she went back to her home with a bagful of full size bottles of fragrances from my own wardrobe including 2 Bond 9s (Chinatown and Broadway Nite), Thierry Mugler Innocent, Versace Crystal Noir, Viva  La Juicy, and 3 bottles of Victoria's Secret fragrances. She did not really ask for them but she liked those fragrances when she tried them so I gave them to her. She did send me a few of her own fragrances via mail to say thank you.  I haven't encountered a friend or relative who haggled, which is a very good thing.  36

Think before you speak rather than speak first then have a whole world of regret later.

Re: Selfish!!!

Bettany87 wrote:

Gosh, my story is the other way around. I really don't mind when my niece visits and she likes to check out my fragrances and I tell her to go ahead and spray on her what she wants to try. She's usually shy at first but she goes for the celebrity frags most of the time. My 4 daughters are allowed to use any of my fragrances anytime, too. I let them know which are the expensive ones which they should use sparingly.

Last month when my sister-in-law from Vegas visited for a couple of days, she went back to her home with a bagful of full size bottles of fragrances from my own wardrobe including 2 Bond 9s (Chinatown and Broadway Nite), Thierry Mugler Innocent, Versace Crystal Noir, Viva La Juicy, and 3 bottles of Victoria's Secret fragrances. She did not really ask for them but she liked those fragrances when she tried them so I gave them to her. She did send me a few of her own fragrances via mail to say thank you. I haven't encountered a friend or relative who haggled, which is a very good thing.  36

Very nice, Bettany! I am the same with my fragrances... but I didn't make that clear at all in my first post (dah!). I very much enjoy sharing them and gifting them on the spot too, if I can replenish them easily. And I make note of what all my students and friends like (female and male), and gift them with the fragrances they love. The thing I need to clear about are the ones that are very expensive, and how need to be used sparingly, and how to apply.

"Music is my religion."  ~ Jimi Hendrix